Breakaway Books

Authored by Claire Lombardo; Published June 2024; Fiction

⭐️⭐️⭐️

For all that the American dream is depicted as a suburban home with a white picket fence, it seems like there are plenty of women (plenty of fictional women?) who have not only eschewed this vision, but cringe at the thought. Julia, the heroine of Same As It Ever Was, is one of these women.

Julia and Mark look like the perfect couple from the outside, with two kids and enjoyable careers. But when their son Ben announces that he is marrying an undergrad for whom he was recently a TA, because of the baby they will soon be having together, Julia’s world is rocked. She remembers her own childhood, her courtship with Mark, and a unique friendship that led to an affair. As her son starts on the journey of marriage and parenthood, she reflects on the mistakes she has made and the ways she has been shaped into the partner she is today.

Julia does not feel at home in the milieu of suburban moms—that much is clear from the very first page of this book. In some ways, she seems trapped in this conventional setting and resentful of her husband for wanting this life, but as the novel unfolds, it becomes clearer and clearer that she believes herself deficient, lacking the emotional tools to be a mother. I genuinely appreciated this message, as it seems that many women feel incomplete unless they have the exact emotions society tells them to have at the exact time society tells them to have it. Being a mother must amplify these expectations hundredfold, and Julia feels it. Her relationships with the elderly Helen allows her to finally be honest about how she feels, and I can only wish that every mother, every woman, every person, has a friend like this. The explicit conversation that Helen and Julia have about needing each other in friendship is enlightening, and it made me wish we could speak more openly about the emotional dynamics of friendship in society today.

Compared with her own mom, Julia can be considered nothing less than a shining model of motherhood. I was so frustrated by mom Anita’s repeated insistence that she and her child bore equal responsibility for the events of Julia’s childhood, the weight of Anita’s addiction crushing so much of Julia’s freedom and loading her with responsibility that rightfully belonged to Anita. There is no remorse from Anita, no real apology throughout the entire novel—it was almost as though she simply decided to give up on being a mom, and it was crazy-making for me. In contrast, Julia never seems to stop trying, to stop thinking about how she can be a better mom to Ben and Alma, even when she messes up. She is flawed, but her mother’s heart is in the right place and she is constantly learning to adapt. 

Same As It Ever Was is best described as a mosaic of Julia’s life, in which she slowly comes into sharper and sharper focus. Its commentary on motherhood is realistic, if nothing else—perhaps not the best one to pick up if you’re expecting a child soon.